Here we are folks, the end of the year is upon us and I'm wondering what I want to do about, what I want to write about it. I'm not one for making a New Year's Resolutions as I think that the urge to follow those goes away after February, but I do want to follow some kind of mindset for this year, that much I think is doable. Something to work toward. Something that I can look back on during December of 2019 and say “yeah, I kept my word and I have something to show for it.”
Sorry I haven't been posting here lately by the way. The Tumblr Purge that everyone was worried about didn't affect my little corner of the internet as hard as I thought, so I've still be keeping active there. Plus, I've been doing some more thinking about how I want to handle blogging on Newgrounds. Like I said before, I don’t think this is the place where I can post my opinion pieces on whatever wierd anime or video game I consume, and I personally don’t take my art seriously enough to post it on a site where professionals and aspiring professionals gather, at least not frequently. For now, I'll just post the more general stuff here and keep my opinion pieces to Tumblr unless I have some overarching message that can work for a site like this. This Rambling will be a good example of what I mean.
See, I had a conversation with one of my old RP buddies earlier this week, and I said the following:
The moment I reread that statement, I paused. In the context of the conversation I was just stating that I was tired of lazing about and not getting to my RP replies, leaving my RP partners waiting and not progressing the plot of the stories we were working on. However, this statement hit me a little harder than I thought.
2018 hasn't been a good year for me. For the short version, I switched jobs, I make a lot less money nowadays, and I'm overall rarely in a good mood. And when I read that statement I… froze for a moment. I thought back on this year. I didn’t like what I was doing, what I was experiencing, and I want to change that.
This is the statement that I want to make my mindset of the coming year. For me at least, I want 2019 to be the year that I personally don't give in to lethargy. That I don't hesitate. That I don’t just accept my current place in life.
Like my old pastor would say: I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
So, from this moment onward I'm going to push myself. In my art, my writing, my blogging, my analyses, my opinion pieces, and in my actual life. Not to say that's going to be an easy task. Working up the energy and nerve to actually improve oneself takes a lot of work. I know, I did a daily art challenge this June and it was rough work to get myself to tablet and draw something everyday. I updated one of my older fanfics three times this year and it was a struggle to just type words on the keyboard. Hell, out of the few opinion pieces I did this year, it took some honest effort to actually explain my opinions, I even had to delete and redo one of them because of how poor and lazy the original one was written. Hell, for a real life example I finally got my learner's permit a few month ago and I've barely driven around because I've just grown comfortable walking everywhere. I know ending the lethargy isn't going to be an easy task, I know I'm going to have my temptations to be lazy and be comfortable, but I'm also so damn sick of sitting around and having nothing to show for it. At the very least, I want to say to myself 365 days from now that I did something, that I have something to prove I didn't spend all year just sitting about and doing nothing.
So... with the Lord and all of Newgrounds as my witness, I will improve myself.
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Well, that got a little more intense than I was planning, but my message remains the same. I'm going to do more this coming year. I'm going to push past whatever funk that's kept me from being active and start getting active.
In any case, that's it for me. See you folks next year, assuming I don't make some kind New Year's Eve post.